BABY MAMA/ BABY PAPA DRAMA - TRUE STORY

I was involved in a recent heated argument with a very close lady friend of mine (name withheld).

Just as I was chilling and trying to relax from the stressful week passed , I got a phone call from my surprisingly overexcited friend .

She asked ‘’ Are you at home? I have something really important to tell you''.


Really? I replied , wondering the reason for the sudden excitement and need to see me.

A couple of hours later, my friend arrived.

Guess what ? Guess what? She said, and I screamed  What!  my eyes popping and all my tentacles alert.


She began telling me how a certain guy she had known for less than 5 months based abroad had asked her to meet his parents back  here in Naija after making his intentions to settle with her known.
I was like really! So soon wow! 

I smiled and was very happy for her when  I remembered suddenly that the  said guy in question already had a child if not children from another lady out of wedlock.

I asked my friend  wait oo, is it not the guy you said has a baby with a lady abroad in UK , and currently living with a white lady in the US for papers?  Yes he is the one, she said.

Eehh! I exclaimed ,really? She looked at  my worried face , obviously surprised at my exclamation .



Yea he is the one , what is  wrong she said.
Then I  began explaining: oh dear  I am happy for you, but do you think you can handle his baby mama drama and all the complications that come with it?

Remember you are the first daughter and child of your family, how would your parents perceive this I asked?

It really doesn't matter she replied, nobody is perfect and I think I can handle the complications.



Surprised at her response, my eyes widened .

At that point, lectures and arguments began.
She began gushing:

''What about Annie Idibia with 2 baby mama’s for her husband 2face in the picture, yet she still married him. What about May D, Terry G,Peter and Paul Okoye etc whom all have baby mama’s and may end up marrying another in the long run, are you saying that no other chick will accept their proposal she quizzed".

"Kim Kardashian and Kanye nko, Kim Porter and Pdiddy,  the list went on and on.
Tired from her rants, I began having a sudden headache . I  suddenly screamed -they are all in entertainment ooo and celebrities not regular everyday people.

She argued further saying ''it is not true, there are a lot of regular people who we do not know coping well with the baby mama/ baby daddy situation''.

''Afterall, people can get married and not have strong feelings for each other compared to some baby mama’s and baby daddy’s relationships she said''.

''In some marital situations, the father may not be able to provide properly for his kids compared to ladies with successful baby papa’s who can meet the children’s needs with ease. I guess that’s why most ladies do it ''.

So are you saying if you have kids from a certain man, and you are married to another, you will solicit financial support from your baby daddy I asked?

''Before nko she retorted! Infact this is totally out of context she exclaimed!

I simply hate complications I said. What happened to all the good single guys without babies and complications I asked?

''Complications ke! (she laughs out loud). My dear , what if you get married to a seemingly ‘’uncomplicated’’ guy( guy with no baby mama drama) and later in your marriage he tells you he has a baby/ babies with another woman/women, what would you do she asked?

Gosh! That is true , but It is not my portion oooo I exclamed’’ Tufiakwa’’!

''Well, nobody plans to experience these things she retorted. They just happen''.

''What is my own with the other women and their children, it is the man I love and our family that I will concentrate on. He gets to live with me and my children and concentrate on our family she stated further''.

Haahahha ( I laughed  out loud ) okay now, because of comfort and a good life , let me   have a baby out of wedlock for Don Jazzy, no infact 5 kids sef  and see  if my parents would clap and welcome me with open arms I said sarcastically.

My dear, he can’t concentrate on your family alone. What would happen to the other women and their kids, you don’t expect he ignores them?

Are you going to tell me that 2face Idibia’s kids from the other women are ever going to suffer I explained, Impossible I stated firmly.

The argument went on and on , till I got tired and yelled saying well, it is your life. You are the one going to carry your cross alone .

At that point ,she retorted ''you should be happy for me, not checking loopholes and 
faults '' after which she stormed out of my apartment angrily.

I began pondering, as much as I understand that a lady could take in mistakenly while dating a certain guy and may end up not getting married to the guy in the long run is excusable.

What I do not understand is how a lady subjects herself to having not just one kid from a particular man, but ends up having 2- 3 kids without commitment after which the man goes to look for a fresh girl with no complication to settle and live the rest of his life with.

I personally think it is totally unfair , though I agree that most ladies do that strategically.

Just as I lay on my bed pondering over the whole baby mama/ daddy issue surrounding my friends relationship and our bitter argument , it suddenly hit me  gosh Chidinma! You are having a lot of headache drinking another person’s panadol ooo . What is your own? Afterall , you have unsettled issues in your life to tackle.You have tried your best giving her an advice as a friend. Whenever asoebi is ready , buy jare then I dozed off.